Not a day goes by that we do not hear about a tragedy linked to bullying. Right now, as you read this, there is a child somewhere in Canada, if not North America, but surely the world who feels as though they have no where to turn to. No one to ask for help from. Nothing left but to end their suffering the only way they know how.
Over the course of the past two years, from Mos Publicus (my blog for when I worked with Clive Doucet during his bid for mayor) through to willsamuel.ca, I have written about my own personal plights with bullies. I have exposed my own pain on the internet and let people in to share with me my story, but then I started to think that this could go much further. That in order to do battle with and eventually end bullying that it needs to go to the kids in a bold and dramatic way. And then it started.
In order to fully understand the significance and attachment to bullying as an issue, you need to only read back on my blog. But, in considering my previous topics, I really didn’t touch on some of the more brutal examples. I talk about when I was chased around Wellington Ontario being called “faggot” or “queer” for simply being emotional. I went through what it was like to be mobbed and have my pants ripped down in front a group of boys and have my penis mocked as though it were a joke. However, I don’t talk about the adults who influenced the behaviour so deeply that I was angry for a very long time. During my time in Wellington I endured a lot of crap, but none so bad as having a teaching spike a volleyball into my head giving my a concussion. That memory has stuck with me and was part of my distrust for educators for a long time. The other part? My principal, upon my grade eight graduation, telling me that I would “amount to nothing.”
Consider both of those and the massive impact they must have had. The first one left me physically hurt, but that second one almost ruined me when it came to education. It was so bad that when I came to Ottawa, I came as a high school drop out. Now, granted, on my graduation day from Carleton University, I quietly dedicated my degree to the memory of that jerk, but I digress. The less, I suppose, is that we need to get the adults into this discussion as much as we need to have the kids there. So, let’s fast forward a bit…
I have always admired Stu Schwartz. He’s a couple of years older than I am, but I remember hearing him busting his ass to get himself on the radio back when he was doing stunts and pranks for 106.9fm The Bear. That was a long time ago. Stu now works at Majic 100 and with the Ottawa Senators—I envy both those jobs—and I am paying my dues trying to get my feet into corporate Canada. Yet, back in September Stu had just about enough of bullying and started to speak out. He did the one thing I have thought had to be done and finally took it to the schools. You see, Stu (along with his morning co-hosts Angie and Trish) started #NoMoreBullies and aimed it very decisively at social media and then took it to the classrooms and auditoriums.
For me #NoMoreBullies is my sigh of relief. At 34 years old it has given me a chance to know I am not alone. To know that what I went through all the way up into my 20s does not define me. It may have shaped some of my decisions in life, but it is by no means something to hold onto. To me, the way to end bullying starts with kids in the class rooms talking, but also to get the teachers and parents involved and aware. We send kids to school today as we always have with the understanding about hidden curriculum. That they will learn what it means to be an adult by someone who, themselves, is a mature professional. It is our hope that they never run into someone like those I ran into. But there’s a catch…. and it’s a 22; while we may have been bullied in life, we have always likely bullied someone else.
This is a cyclical thing. What goes around often comes around. Bullying has to stop with us in mind. We need to think, young and old alike, “is what I am about to say or do going to belittle or otherwise hurt someone else?” This is tough in our society. Men are measured by their ability to jibe one another. Ask Stu… While he worked with Three Men on the Radio on Team 1200 he was often pelted with jokes. I am sure he’d say (at least publicly) that 99.9% of it was in good fun, but where’s the line between kinship building and down right nasty? In this case, err on the side of caution. Women are no better. They belittle each other about image and appearance.
Anyway, this is getting too long. I could write a series of papers on this topic… In short, support #NoMoreBullies in anyway you can. Find details at http://www.nomorebullies.ca and step up.
W.